Tuesday 1 September 2015

Hydras: The "I can't keep doing this to myself" Edition

Swear to god y'all better let this die because we will keep making posts if you do and it will kill me and I will haunt the ever-loving shit out of you.

HYDRA OF THE LABOURS
Heads regrow in about a year, if the body isn't slain. Cutting off the first ten heads will cause the last two to sprout. Kill all the heads and you get to go hunt for the golden fleece, probably. Or maybe the hydra just has golden fleece.
  1. Nemean Lion. Face is halfway between Helen of Troy and a wildcat, and not in a sexy way. Golden skin is impervious to arrows. Bites for 1d6.
  2. Lernean Hydra. Head cloaked in chitinous shell. Can spit a spider crab (1 HD, AC as plate, two claws at 1d4 each, grapples your face on a successful hit w/ both) at you 1/day. Bites for 1d6 + poison.
  3. Ceryneian Hind. +20 Dex bonus to AC. Yeah you can't hit this thing unless you trap it first, somehow. Ram 1d4.
  4. Erymanthian Boar. Mouth is framed by jutting tusks. Mottled skin is exposed beneath ragged fur. Cold damage puts it to sleep for 1d4+1 rounds. Gores for 1d8
  5. Augean Stables. Looks exactly like a horse butt. Fires excrement at you for 1d6 damage to your sense of honour. No actual damage, though. Can cast Grease 1/day. We both know that ain't really grease.
  6. Stymphalian birds. Has two bronze beaks, one on either side of face. Plumes of metal feathers sprout from neck like mane. Can fire feathers like arrows as attack action. Is terrified of rattles and will flee from them. Peck 1d4.
  7. Cretan Bull. I mean look it's just a bull head. Always loses initiative. Gore for 1d8.
  8. Mares of Diomedes. Rearing, mad-eyed horse head. All teeth are canines. Can breathe fire for 2d6 damage in a cone, 1/day. Bite 1d6.
  9. Belt of Hippolyta. Strong-featured head of a woman with a golden girdle around her neck. Immune to damage. Remove the girdle, head falls off. Probably definitely a metaphor for something. Hair whip 1d4.
  10. Cattle of Geryon. Cow head dripping thick, meaty cud. Has a crush on the bull head. The upper body of a two-headed dog sprouts from its neck like a tumour. Can vomit forth a swarm of gadflies 1/day. Gore 1d4.
  11. Apples of the Hesperides. Branching, twisting limbs like a tree made of arms. Fat, golden organs hang from the branches. Snake heads tip each limb, a hundred in total, tongues lolling catatonically. Slam 1d6 + poison against everyone in a 10' radius circle.
  12. Cerberus. Three headed dog. Three attacks for 1d4 each, all against the same target.
So easy to Google image search it's actually disgusting
PACK HYDRA
Stats as wolves. Roam around in packs of 1d6+1. When you cut the head off one, each other hydra gets another head. First one just dies though which is super sad </3

MEMETIC HYDRA
Is rumours about the pcs. Must kill with fire. Somehow.

~topical humour~
TRICK HYDRA
Any damage not done in an effort to remove a head spawns a head with HD equal to the damage done. Cutting off heads does/does not produce more heads as normal, depending on how much you hate your players.

FUCK YOU HYDRA
When you cut off its head, you grow a hydra head. Your new head hates you so, so much, and you can actually hear it thinking mean things about your weight.

OUROBOROS HYDRA
Haha but no seriously I don't think this is gameable I'm just out of ideas.

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