WORLD'S MOST EVIL HYDRA

The WORLD'S MOST EVIL HYDRA possesses the heads of history's greatest villains. It is born from the paradox created when somebody tries to go back in time and kill Hitler.

1. STALIN. Bite causes victims to slowly fade from reality. Their past actions are undone, beginning with the most recent, until they are entirely edited out of history. If they've chopped off any heads, those heads will regrow.
2. POL POT. Anyone looking at this head through glasses, or any other kind of manufactured lens, must save or die instantly.
3. NERO. Breathes fire. The flames crackle with the sound of fiddle music.
4. BIN LADEN. Tall buildings in the vicinity spontaneously collapse.
5. VLAD DRACULA. Causes wooden stakes to spring out of the ground beneath people.
6. THATCHER. Iron teeth. Bite curses victims with slow starvation.
7. CASTRO. Breathes cloud of foul-smelling, vision-blocking, lung-invading cigar smoke.
8. JUDAS. Barfs a torrent of silver onto the ground. Anyone who takes the silver will be compelled to betray their friends.
9. BLACKBEARD. Beard braided into writhing pigtails, stuck through with lighted matches, that entangle foes and burn them.
10. NIXON. Pins victims down with its jowls and drowns them in flopsweat.
11. CALIGULA. All horses in the vicinity become senators and refuse to obey the authority of their riders.
12. TRUMP. Endless stream of blather forces victims to save against confusion and despair.
13. MAO. Gaze forces victims to kneel in place and confess how they have betrayed the revolution. Failure to confess anything will result in laceration with broken glass.
14. RICHARD III. Seems surprisingly reasonable. Whispers to party one at a time, sowing demoralisation and discord.
15. TOJO. Birds and other flying things divebomb its victims and explode into balls of fire.
16. CROMWELL. Any monarch within a mile who takes any damage will immediately die.
17. MCCARTHY. Victims must save or be convinced that the hydra is an illusion created by secret witches.
18. MACHIAVELLI. Hangs back and advises the other heads, making them more cunning and powerful.
19. PUTIN. Knows the most embarrassing secret of anyone it fights and will threaten to reveal it unless they serve its agenda.
20. RASPUTIN. Hypnotic stare. Can't be chopped off until it has been drowned, shot and poisoned.
21. ATTILA THE HUN. Head can't be cut off, but will die if given a nosebleed.
22. THE KRAYS. These two heads will regrow unless they are chopped off simultaneously.
23. NED KELLY. Head can't be cut off unless iron helmet is first removed. Attacks with headbutts. Hates coppers.
24. LEOPOLD II. On a critical hit, bites off a hand.
25. ROBESPIERRE. On a critical hit, bites off a head.
26. JACK THE RIPPER. On a critical hit, tears out a random organ with its teeth.
27. MUSSOLINI. Hydra is accompanied by 1d20 low-level thugs in black clothing, who will flee if this head is defeated.
28. GENGHIS KHAN. Hydra is accompanied by 2d4 horse archers, who will flee if this head is defeated.
29. AL CAPONE. Hydra is accompanied by 1d4 high-level enforcers from local thieves' guild, who will flee if this head is defeated. Bleeds moonshine.
30. TORQUEMADA. Always gets a surprise attack, as nobody expects it.

oh god I put too much of my life into this monstrosity

Hydras: The "I can't keep doing this to myself" Edition

Swear to god y'all better let this die because we will keep making posts if you do and it will kill me and I will haunt the ever-loving shit out of you.

HYDRA OF THE LABOURS
Heads regrow in about a year, if the body isn't slain. Cutting off the first ten heads will cause the last two to sprout. Kill all the heads and you get to go hunt for the golden fleece, probably. Or maybe the hydra just has golden fleece.

1. Nemean Lion. Face is halfway between Helen of Troy and a wildcat, and not in a sexy way. Golden skin is impervious to arrows. Bites for 1d6.
2. Lernean Hydra. Head cloaked in chitinous shell. Can spit a spider crab (1 HD, AC as plate, two claws at 1d4 each, grapples your face on a successful hit w/ both) at you 1/day. Bites for 1d6 + poison.
3. Ceryneian Hind. +20 Dex bonus to AC. Yeah you can't hit this thing unless you trap it first, somehow. Ram 1d4.
4. Erymanthian Boar. Mouth is framed by jutting tusks. Mottled skin is exposed beneath ragged fur. Cold damage puts it to sleep for 1d4+1 rounds. Gores for 1d8
5. Augean Stables. Looks exactly like a horse butt. Fires excrement at you for 1d6 damage to your sense of honour. No actual damage, though. Can cast Grease 1/day. We both know that ain't really grease.
6. Stymphalian birds. Has two bronze beaks, one on either side of face. Plumes of metal feathers sprout from neck like mane. Can fire feathers like arrows as attack action. Is terrified of rattles and will flee from them. Peck 1d4.
7. Cretan Bull. I mean look it's just a bull head. Always loses initiative. Gore for 1d8.
8. Mares of Diomedes. Rearing, mad-eyed horse head. All teeth are canines. Can breathe fire for 2d6 damage in a cone, 1/day. Bite 1d6.
9. Belt of Hippolyta. Strong-featured head of a woman with a golden girdle around her neck. Immune to damage. Remove the girdle, head falls off. Probably definitely a metaphor for something. Hair whip 1d4.
10. Cattle of Geryon. Cow head dripping thick, meaty cud. Has a crush on the bull head. The upper body of a two-headed dog sprouts from its neck like a tumour. Can vomit forth a swarm of gadflies 1/day. Gore 1d4.
11. Apples of the Hesperides. Branching, twisting limbs like a tree made of arms. Fat, golden organs hang from the branches. Snake heads tip each limb, a hundred in total, tongues lolling catatonically. Slam 1d6 + poison against everyone in a 10' radius circle.
12. Cerberus. Three headed dog. Three attacks for 1d4 each, all against the same target.

So easy to Google image search it's actually disgusting

PACK HYDRA
Stats as wolves. Roam around in packs of 1d6+1. When you cut the head off one, each other hydra gets another head. First one just dies though which is super sad </3

MEMETIC HYDRA
Is rumours about the pcs. Must kill with fire. Somehow.

~topical humour~

TRICK HYDRA
Any damage not done in an effort to remove a head spawns a head with HD equal to the damage done. Cutting off heads does/does not produce more heads as normal, depending on how much you hate your players.

FUCK YOU HYDRA

When you cut off its head, you grow a hydra head. Your new head hates you so, so much, and you can actually hear it thinking mean things about your weight.

OUROBOROS HYDRA

Haha but no seriously I don't think this is gameable I'm just out of ideas.

You call THAT a hydra??

Continuing from my brother's post which continues from Goblinpunch. (Arnold stole it from Chris McDowell I think but I'm really not willing to chase it back to Hesiod or whoever)

I see London, I see France

Corpushydra

HD 7 AC leather Attacks (see below)

Move 15 Int 3 Mor 7

A corpushydra has only one, mean-eyed head, but a hundred bodies. It lives in cold swamps (a lot of bodies is a lot of excess heat) and slurps up anything even slightly edible with its long, hollow tongue.

Corpushydras attack in two ways: by trampling enemies into pulp, and by using their many hearts to build up pressure in their veins until blood shoots from their eyes with enough force to dent armour. Each of the hydra's bodies occupies a 5-foot square, but will happily share this space with a human-sized creature as part of its trample attack.

Trample

When you try to move through a corpushydra's space or it moves through yours, make an opposed strength check. If you fail, you have been knocked prone, and you take trample damage every turn until you pass a strength check and can stand up again. The hydra tramples for 1d6 + 1 for every adjacent square it also occupies (max 1d6+8)

Blood Spray

A corpushydra will use blood spray on anyone attempting to attack it from afar, or any creature that looks like it can win a lot of opposed strength checks. Blood spray is a ranged attack dealing 1d8 damage, reflex save to avoid being blinded by cloying blood.

Petting Zoo Hydra

HD 1-20 AC leather Attacks (1 per head)

Move 12 Int 3 Mor 7

A petting zoo hydra is created whenever some really weird shit happens at the petting zoo, which is pretty rare, frankly.  The heads will regrow in 1 round unless salt or fresh milk is applied to the stump.  It has one head for every HD.

Heads [d20, or just go down the list]

1. Duckling - Nibble 1d4-1, but with a -2 to hit.
2. Chick - Peck 1d3-1.  Pecked target must save vs giggling.
3. Kid - Nubby horn attack 1d4-1.
4. Rooster - Crows.  Every turn, has a 10% chance of attracting a new random encounter
5. Goose - Smashes for 1d4.  Ridiculous 20' reach.
6. Puppy Skull With Glowing Red Eyes - Bites for 1d3.  Can reanimate dead things as friendly zombies, 1/turn.
7. Mistreated Blue-Tongue - Bites for 1d3 + disease.
8. Emu - Pecks for 1d4.  Easy to sever: neck only has 1 HP.
9. Bag of Grain - Can cast cure light wounds at will.
10. Ibis - Peck 1d3-1.  Save or lose an eye.
11. Spider Monkey Hand - Attempts to steal your weapon and hit you with it.  Str 12, Dex 16.
12. Ram - Gores for 1d4 damage.  On a miss, there is a 2-in-6 chance that the horns gets jammed in something, trapping the ram head there for 1 turn.
13. Sow - Bites for 1d4.  Never forgets.  (Attacks whoever attacks it first, and never changes targets.)
14. Llama - Bites for 1d6.  If the attack roll is 1-3, it attacks another head instead.  If the other head is having a bad morning, the two heads will start fighting, only stopping when one head is bitten off or starts crying.  (This causes two heads to grow, as normal.)
15. Sloth - Sleeps until it takes damage, at which point it wakes up and starts biting for 1d3-1.
16. Mule - Bite 1d4 damage, save or it whinnies upsettingly at you.
17. Fairy Penguin - Peck 1d3-1, Every 3 turns, breath a cone of frozen air, 1d6, 20' cone.
18. Teen on Work Experience - Does nothing except scream about baby animals and madness, begs to be sent home, yells at players to bring salt.
19. Pen - On a hit, traps a player inside.  On subsequent turns, beats "head" against ground, dealing 1d6 damage to occupant automatically.  Made of chickenwire, and the lock can be opened by anyone with greater int than the hydra.
20. Koi - Doesn't want to fight.  It will just make weird fish noises all fight.  If it is the only head remaining on the body (i.e. it is a koiydra) it will run away.  It's also tamable, if you have patience.

Basically this but even fluffier

Transplanar Hydra

HD 8 AC plate Attacks (1 per head)

Move 12 Int 5 Mor 7

It is unclear whether these things are incredible war-machines or slightly uncomfortable accidents. Each of a transplanar hydras heads is from a different plane of reality. Cutting off a head causes a different head to rotate in from the closest reality, while two fresh heads bud in further planes. Further growth may be prevented by applying an antithetical element to a fresh stump. A transplanar hydra will never grow a head in a plane it has already visited.

Most transplanar hydras begin with at least five heads, in the classic planes of earth, fire, air and water as well as one in the material plane. Possible heads include:

1. Fire - Burning oil saliva. Bites will set targets alight, and the ground beneath the hydra's head will smolder until put out.
2. Water - Can breathe a Fog Cloud 1/day. Will try to catch people in its mouth and drown them.
3. Air - Two swift attacks per turn, at a -2 penalty. Looks like a dumb bird.
4. Earth - Stone or metal weaponry striking the head will be absorbed on a failed strength check. Absorbing something sword-sized or larger grants the head +1 damage (max +5).
5. Magnetism - Reverse Gravity 1/day, affecting only metal objects (someone in chainmail or above counts)
6. Ooze - Engulfs on a successful attack, as per your favourite kind of ooze
7. Light - Eye contact with the head blinds anyone failing a reflex save. Creatures with darkvision don't get a save.
8. Bone - Anyone attacking the head in melee combat takes 1d6 damage from bony quills.
9. Glass - Head reflects all spells towards new, random targets.
10. Mind - Everybody stands still and thinks through the moves of the coming fight. Replace dex with int, str with cha, con with wis, maybe? Play through the fight otherwise as normal. When the combat is over - hyrda head/players dead/retreated - return everyone to where they were at the start of the fight, except now running away/catatonic.
11. Confluence - N-th dimensional head exists to the full definition of this plane of existence. Can attack anyone that has ever been, or ever will be, within a normal hydra's reach of anywhere the hydra's body ever has been or will be. Players use this same set of rules for attacking the hydra.
12. Life - Contact with the head's fluids impregnates the affected surface/person with d100 species of random creatures. Remember that probably about 97% of the world's species are invertebrates; bugs and fish.
13. Subtext - Position of the head can only be inferred from environmental clues. Head takes 1d10 damage for every uncomfortable, unspoken topic broached between characters.
14. Luck - Treat every dice roll made near the hydra as though it rolled the maximum value. All attacks are crits, all saves are passed, every improbable plan works for both hydra and players.
15. Faith - Resembles the head of all gods. Anyone watching it die must save vs crisis of faith 1d6 weeks later. Failure means you need to get a new life goal.
16. Oscillation - Head is constantly making a noise like a jack-hammer. After two rounds spent within 50' start saving vs deafness. At three rounds take 1d4 damage as your bones start to shake. Fourth round, 1d6 damage. Fifth, 1d8. Etc. Leaving the radius resets this effect.
17. Math - Head can only be damaged by prime numbers. This should mean that your damage is likely to be better with 2d3 than 1d10??
18. Narrative - Cannot be reduced below 1hp except by something that makes somebody at the table go, "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn."
19. Logic - Will attack anyone perceived as illogical (that's pretty much everyone on the material plane). Will totally ignore anyone that starts sorting things. Will probably allow itself to be sorted.
20. Hydra - The head is one of these. If you kill all the other heads and this is the only one left, the hydra stops being transplanar are starts just being a hydrada.

Took me like 3 days to get 17, 18 and 19.
Pretty sure the joke's dead by now.

More Hydras

Microhydra. Size of a small dog. Carried around in handbags by fashionable society ladies. Excitable. If it grows too many heads the din of its yipping will become intolerable. Shortly thereafter, its heart will give out from the strain of pumping all that blood. Like all hydras, unbelievably poisonous.

Larger microhydras, maintained at a reasonable three heads, are often kept as guard animals. Their primary advantage over more conventional creatures is that foolish adventurers will go to the trouble of cutting off the heads and cauterizing the stump with fire instead of just stabbing it through the chest like they would with a dog.

Monohydra. Cut off the head, one more grows in its place. No net gain for the hydra. The new head will be slightly different in appearance, have a different personality and only retain 2/3 of the memories of the old head.

Monohydras are less confused than what they insist on referring to as "polyhydras" and, as a result, are more likely to participate in civilized society. They have a massive inferiority complex that they will go to some effort to disguise. Instead of openly terrorizing villages they will become involved in protection rackets, extorting money and livestock with promises to keep the villagers safe from some poorly-defined greater threat that may or may not actually exist. Their blood is so poisonous that the blood of anybody killed with it will also become poisonous, as is normal for hydras.

There are various myths and rumours about how a monohydra might become a regular hydra. Monohydras will pretend not to care about any of them. It is secretly the thing they yearn for above all.

Chronohydra. Grows two new heads before you have cut off the original. Which is to say, can grow two new heads as a move action, guaranteeing one attacker a critical hit at some point in the next three rounds. Can't use this ability if you have brought fire and are openly considering cauterizing the stumps. Temporal paradoxes cause minor earthquakes and deal d6 damage to everyone in the immediate vicinity, plus d6 more for every other temporal paradox you've participated in today.

inspired by Goblin Punch, as usual