Tuesday 20 August 2019

encountering the dero

Depth mechanic as sanity system. On each table roll d20+X where X is how crazy you are.

  1. Graffiti.
  2. Fortune cookie.
  3. Missing-person posters.
  4. Biro scrawlings on dollar bill.
  5. Crazy call-in to morning radio.
  6. Street preacher's religious rants.
  7. Mutterings of crazy homeless guy.
  8. Overheard public-transport dialogue.
  9. Warning message broadcast over loudspeaker.
  10. Spam that gets through your filter somehow.
  11. FW: FW: FW: email from elderly relative.
  12. Internet ads. Gone when you refresh the page.
  13. Second-hand paperback you don't remember buying.
  14. Forgotten episode of old TV show.
  15. Letters to the editor.
  16. Dating-app messages.
  17. Old science-fiction magazine.
  18. Unwanted Youtube recommendations.
  19. Comments on your blog.
  20. Comments on your favourite Pornhub video.
  21. Shouted argument from next apartment.
  22. Joke from your boss that you feel obliged to laugh at.
  23. Co-worker conversation that stops when you enter the room.
  24. Mom asks for your opinion, changes subject before you answer.
  25. Voice that takes your order at drive-through restaurant.
  26. Inscrutable Facebook message from high-school friend.
  27. Old acquaintance bumped into on street, not looking well.
  28. DMs via obscure forum you forgot you had an account on.
  29. Job offer from dodgy but persistent recruiter.
  30. Threatening letter from nonexistent law firm.
  31. Diary entries you don't remember making.
  32. Words on electronic traffic sign.
  33. Garbled phone call.
  34. Texts from unfamiliar number.
  35. Note slipped under your door.
  36. Note you find in your pocket.
  37. Note attached to the leg of a bird that falls from the sky.
  38. Nondescript man who approaches you in public.
  39. Screams of stranger being dragged into car.
  40. Message left at scene of horrible crime.
  41. Lunatic who attacks you in dark alley.
  42. Cop who claims somebody calls 911.
  43. Black-clad government agent at your door.
  44. President works you into a televised speech.
  45. Sitcom character turns to camera, address you by name.
  46. Talking animal.
  47. Talking object.
  48. Booming voice of God.
  49. Thoughts beamed directly into your brain.
  50. Orderlies who come to take you away to the hospital.
  1. The dero are a symptom of mental illness.
  2. The dero are a metaphor for the pressures of modern society.
  3. The dero are fabricated as a distraction by your political enemies.
  4. The dero are a product of collective mass hysteria and must be fought with reason and logic.
  5. The dero exist, but they're not as big a deal as people think.
  6. The dero exist, but the authorities have them under control.
  7. The dero have a secret civilisation underground.
  8. The dero use rays to project false information into our minds.
  9. The dero abduct people to perform weird medical experiments.
  10. The dero are headquartered under the Pentagon.
  11. The dero are headquartered in the catacombs of Paris, France.
  12. The dero are controlled by a single giant brain.
  13. The dero are all sexy women and they want to have sex with you.
  14. The dero force every world leader to engage in sadistic sexual rituals.
  15. The dero came from the future to save the planet from our evil ways.
  16. The dero consider human flesh a delicacy.
  17. The dero are Communists.
  18. The dero are Jews.
  19. The dero are Nazis.
  20. The dero are biblical demons.
  21. History has been falsified to conceal the existence of the dero.
  22. All existing information about the dero has been fabricated by the dero.
  23. All politicians and media figures are willing puppets of the dero.
  24. All disasters, massacres and genocides are faked by the dero to make people afraid.
  25. Some of the celebrities know about the dero and if you get to them they can help you.
  26. Tinfoil hats repel dero thought rays.
  27. Your friends and family are being replaced by dero imposters.
  28. It's totally fine to masturbate in public.
  29. Your friends and family are being held underground and tortured by dero.
  30. Drinking your own urine is the key to eternal life.
  31. You are an agent of the dero and you must fulfil your mission.
  32. Time is cubic.
  33. You are an agent of the humans and you must fight the influence of the dero.
  34. Dogs can secretly talk.
  35. You have been driven insane by dero thought rays.
  36. Milk makes you gay.
  37. Everyone else has been driven insane by dero thought rays.
  38. Children are trying to save the world but they need your help.
  39. The dero are simulating your reality and you must wake up before you die.
  40. The dero want you to hurt people and do fucked-up sex stuff.
  41. The dero want to help you but you have to trust them absolutely.
  42. The dero are coming for you right now, in the next fifteen minutes.
  43. You can save the world by killing the most important dero.
  44. You're the most important dero and this is just what being a dero is like.
  45. You're on the verge of a great scientific breakthrough and the dero are trying to stop you.
  46. You're an extradimensional super-alien imprisoned by the dero in corporeal form.
  47. You're the Messiah and the dero are your disciples.
  48. You can read minds and it makes you too dangerous to live.
  49. You're a character in a game of fantasy and the player controlling you is a callous monster.
  50. You have been diagnosed with schizophrenia by a doctor and require medication.


  1. Being a vampire has certain limitations, but it can also be a ton of fun. Your extra strengths and abilities can make you successful in almost every endeavor you participate in and before you know it the money and acquaintances will come streaming in. You can build wealth and gain prestige and notoriety and attempt things you may never have even considered as a human. One thing you will definitely have more of is time. Beef up your education and learn all you every wanted to. Travel the world to see things most people only ever see on TV This is going to be especially fun if you turned to share your life with one of us. Let us show you the wonders of the world. Learn new languages, go skydiving or scuba dive with sharks, visit the African safari. You no longer need to be scared of nature or wildlife – you will have become the worlds strongest predator. Have fun with it and your life as a vampire can be more fulfilling than you ever dreamed. Explore, experiment, experience and get excited. There’s a big world out there with lots to see and do and as a vampire, you can do it all. If your dream is to become a powerful person in life contact: Richvampirekindom@gmail.com

    1. The days of your kind are numbered, bloodsucker! The werewolves are sniffing out your secret places and will soon cleanse your stain from the earth.

  2. The vampire comment was actually surprisingly appropriate for once.

    1. Yeah damn - could do with a few more of the long-form spambots on this. All the ones selling voodoo services? Strictly dero