Friday, 7 September 2018

dracula's castle generator

quick and dirty generator for most of the stuff you'll find in dracula's castle
we'll follow this up with more comprehensive room descriptions, at least. maybe some more npcs?

Room Minion Monster Mark
1 ballroomigs
lil babbie igors
all stitches and squeals
communal ooze
has average personality of all brains it's currently digesting
vampire 101 all drinkin' blood and shit
2gardenbottled steam
wheeze, bump into each other
periodic refills
intelligent fungus
can control bugs
is working on small mammals
can climb walls, sleep comfortably upside down
all sizes
all colours
dump live meat into it and it gets bigger, muskier
flying is more exhausting than you'd care to admit
4 surgerygoblin
more sizes
more colours
failed attempt at curing lycanthropy
yearns for release, afraid to die
staring people down makes them weak willed, suggestible
5 labjunklings
garbage robots that don't make sense
some strong Hal 9000 vibes
oh shit the whole castle is alive
you can hear heartbeats, subtext, secrets, lies, people sneaking up behind you
6 throneroom harpies
barbed tongues
rhyme at you spitefully
maddened clone
naked, bloodied, scared shitless
hang on wait - what if they're... the original??!
a luxurious mane swells about you
step back into it and vanish into the shadows
7 aviaryhomunculi
split apart and recombine like smooshed playdoh
fake angel
don't question their legitimacy
way chiller than real angels, though
turn up in people's dreams, insert your own weird symbology
8 observatoryliving shadows
giggle and chitter
scared of you
chained alien
might just let you handle this one?
shed your form; turn into bats or mist or a sxc jaguar
9 chapelgargoyles
fake sluggishness when you're watching
pure, soulful eyes
listens intently, believes you, trusts you
better range than aretha franklin
animals are inclined to do what you say
10 wine cellarbad golems
always dried out or too soggy to hold together
shrug a lot
quickened stone
speaks through statues
picky eater
taste spilt blood like a shark
5" long prehensile tongue
11 dungeongrubsacks
sack full of grubs
indecision tears them apart
corpse bride
melodramatically melancholy
'my, what lovely eyes you have'
regenerate rapidly, unless afflicted by garlic, fire, sunlight, etc
12 wunderkammerchildren
fucking love this place
exceedingly precocious
pagan god
trapped in its idol
seems pretty likeable, actually
people around you become more passionate, prone to violence and sex
13 dining roomfarm animals
dressed as waiters
humourously bad at their job
haunted liqour
channel its spirit by imbibing its spirits
totally a pirate
gain perfect recall, start dreaming the lives of your ancestors, sire and grandsires
14 opera housewax dummies
imitations of famous people
obsessed with their own histories
skeleton beethoven
wait its napoleon now?
oh right it just depends on the wig
can summon storms, figurative and literal
15 armouryanimated armour
hold racist grudges against the armour they fought against in The War
wizened shifu
wrinkly, know-it-all smile
super old, super good at kung fu
you are always present as a mild psychic throbbing in the subconscious of those around you
16 trophy roomheadless animals
wax seals on the stumps
can still tell when they're looking at you
offers cosmetic surgery, taxedermy
snarky, catty
draws vermin to you
causes rot, rust, ruin when you're in a bad mood
17 vaultancient coins
have the personalities of the faces on them
strict hierarchy based on exchange rate
asthmatic dragon
soft-skinned, albino, pedantic bureaucrat
trying, failing to help
anti-coagulant, paralytic saliva
causes fever, delirium if ingested
18 iceboxcrystallised ghosts
throw snowballs, play pranks
snuggle up to keep you warm. it does not help
writes forlorn poems
incredibly calming influence
you are captivating
anyone thinking about you is caught up in a glamour, cannot perceive evil or their impending doom
19 librarybookbats
flap about smugly, scattering pages like pigeon feathers
book wyrm
like a 30ft earthworm
reads, converses using digestive tract 
carry an air of royalty, have the immediate respect of anyone you meet
20 bedroombatboys
skittish, emaciated
make no effort to hide the hunger in their eyes
"dracula? never heard of him"
actually a dracula impersonator
become undead, completely immoral and a hopeless romantic

"i not know dis dracula. he sound like pretty crazy guy"

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