dracula's castle generator

quick and dirty generator for most of the stuff you'll find in dracula's castle
we'll follow this up with more comprehensive room descriptions, at least. maybe some more npcs?

	Room	Minion	Monster	Mark
1	ballroom	igs lil babbie igors all stitches and squeals	communal ooze has average personality of all brains it's currently digesting	fangs vampire 101 all drinkin' blood and shit
2	garden	bottled steam wheeze, bump into each other periodic refills	intelligent fungus can control bugs is working on small mammals	claws can climb walls, sleep comfortably upside down
3	kitchen	pigboys all sizes all colours	trollpile dump live meat into it and it gets bigger, muskier	wings flying is more exhausting than you'd care to admit
4	surgery	goblin more sizes more colours	barghest failed attempt at curing lycanthropy yearns for release, afraid to die	eyes staring people down makes them weak willed, suggestible
5	lab	junklings garbage robots that don't make sense	automata some strong Hal 9000 vibes oh shit the whole castle is alive	ears you can hear heartbeats, subtext, secrets, lies, people sneaking up behind you
6	throneroom	harpies barbed tongues rhyme at you spitefully	maddened clone naked, bloodied, scared shitless hang on wait - what if they're... the original??!	hair a luxurious mane swells about you step back into it and vanish into the shadows
7	aviary	homunculi split apart and recombine like smooshed playdoh	fake angel don't question their legitimacy way chiller than real angels, though	dreams turn up in people's dreams, insert your own weird symbology
8	observatory	living shadows giggle and chitter scared of you	chained alien might just let you handle this one?	skin shed your form; turn into bats or mist or a sxc jaguar
9	chapel	gargoyles fake sluggishness when you're watching	messiah pure, soulful eyes listens intently, believes you, trusts you	voice better range than aretha franklin animals are inclined to do what you say
10	wine cellar	bad golems always dried out or too soggy to hold together shrug a lot	quickened stone speaks through statues picky eater	tongue taste spilt blood like a shark 5" long prehensile tongue
11	dungeon	grubsacks sack full of grubs indecision tears them apart	corpse bride melodramatically melancholy 'my, what lovely eyes you have'	blood regenerate rapidly, unless afflicted by garlic, fire, sunlight, etc
12	wunderkammer	children fucking love this place exceedingly precocious	pagan god trapped in its idol seems pretty likeable, actually	sweat people around you become more passionate, prone to violence and sex
13	dining room	farm animals dressed as waiters humourously bad at their job	haunted liqour channel its spirit by imbibing its spirits totally a pirate	memory gain perfect recall, start dreaming the lives of your ancestors, sire and grandsires
14	opera house	wax dummies imitations of famous people obsessed with their own histories	skeleton beethoven wait its napoleon now? oh right it just depends on the wig	breath can summon storms, figurative and literal
15	armoury	animated armour hold racist grudges against the armour they fought against in The War	wizened shifu wrinkly, know-it-all smile super old, super good at kung fu	mind you are always present as a mild psychic throbbing in the subconscious of those around you
16	trophy room	headless animals wax seals on the stumps can still tell when they're looking at you	mannequin offers cosmetic surgery, taxedermy snarky, catty	musk draws vermin to you causes rot, rust, ruin when you're in a bad mood
17	vault	ancient coins have the personalities of the faces on them strict hierarchy based on exchange rate	asthmatic dragon soft-skinned, albino, pedantic bureaucrat trying, failing to help	spit anti-coagulant, paralytic saliva causes fever, delirium if ingested
18	icebox	crystallised ghosts throw snowballs, play pranks snuggle up to keep you warm. it does not help	yeti writes forlorn poems incredibly calming influence	laugh you are captivating anyone thinking about you is caught up in a glamour, cannot perceive evil or their impending doom
19	library	bookbats flap about smugly, scattering pages like pigeon feathers	book wyrm like a 30ft earthworm reads, converses using digestive tract	mantle carry an air of royalty, have the immediate respect of anyone you meet
20	bedroom	batboys skittish, emaciated make no effort to hide the hunger in their eyes	alucard "dracula? never heard of him" actually a dracula impersonator	heart become undead, completely immoral and a hopeless romantic

"i not know dis dracula. he sound like pretty crazy guy"