Wednesday 6 July 2016

Giant Generator

click me for a delicious giant

  1. Blunderbore
  2. Ysbaddaden
  3. Teutobochus
  4. Druon Antigoon
  5. Skrymir
  6. Ferragut
  7. Ishbi-Benob
  8. Thunderdel
  9. Jentilak
  10. Zamzummin
  11. Tom Hickathrift
  12. Porphyrion
  1. One eye. Can see the future
  2. No eyes. Commands birds
  3. Hundred eyes. Never sleeps
  4. Hunchback. Controls the weather
  5. Huge nose. Incredible sense of smell
  6. Huge bushy beard with things living in it
  7. Furry. Can speak to trees
  8. Boneless. Can squeeze through small holes
  9. Tusks. Can eat anything, including rock
  10. Beautiful. Sire/dam to monsters
  11. So hideous anyone who sees it flees in horror
  12. Two heads. Roll twice on mood table
  1. Castle in the clouds. Huge kitchen, bedroom, etc. Reachable by flight or big plant
  2. Cave in the mountains. Littered with bones and filth, only furniture a huge cauldron
  3. Desolate island. Sheep and olive groves. Belt of ships wrecked by giant-hurled rocks
  4. Glacier fortress. Hewn from ice by forgotten race, infested w/ spirits of dead
  5. Abandoned city. Overgrown. Ruined in last hundred years, possibly by giant
  6. Heart of a volcano. River of molten iron, huge runed hammer, house-sized anvil
  7. Cottage in the woods. Can be found by plume of smoke from massive chimney
  8. Castle at the bottom of the sea. Inside is dry. Giant can hold breath for ages
  9. Deep, deep underground. Emerges on lightless nights to stalk the countryside
  10. Feasting-hall. Giant almost fills it. Still littered with the skeletons of warriors
  11. Hollowed-out world tree. Carnivore squirrels in branches, well of knowledge among roots
  12. Impenetrable fen. Giant is expert at camouflaging itself among trees, underwater
  1. Wooden club studded w/ swords of dead adventurers. At least one sword magical
  2. Tree stripped of leaves. Planted in soil when not in use. Home to freaked-out dryad
  3. Siege ballista repurposed as hand crossbow
  4. Meteor on end of chain. When swung, lights up with mystical fire of re-entry. Instantly kills dinosaurs
  5. Crude axe with head of knapped obsidian. Sparks lightning from rock
  6. Spear made from sharpened ship's mast, haunted by captain's ghost
  7. Greatsword that leaves rainbows in the air when swung and can cleave the tops from hills
  8. Trident made from a sea monster's bones. Can never be pulled out of living flesh
  9. Flail made from a spiked gibbet, bones still rattling inside
  10. Hammer that can fly, talk and transform into a winged lion, but is keeping this a secret for now
  11. Mace that halves the size of anything struck with it
  12. Huge boulder, wielded in two hands. On first miss, will smash to reveal a geode
  1. Hungry. Taste for people, but could be convinced to change its diet if you found it something sufficiently delicious
  2. Lonely. Wants a friend, but will demand strenuous tests of friendship to weed out anyone who's pretending
  3. Curious. Wants to know all about you, all the latest gossip, who's new in the area. Will take hostages to force you on investigative missions
  4. Depressed. Gorging self on comfort food, flooding valleys with its tears. Sobs prevent anyone sleeping for miles around. Making it laugh will cure it
  5. Jolly. Like a drunk frat boy who thinks he's hilarious. Playing stupid pranks on local villagers, e.g. frightening their livestock, drinking their beer, smashing their barns, breaking their legs
  6. Asleep. Snores cause earthquakes. Murmurs cosmic secrets under breath. Anyone crawling into its ear will enter its dreams, but if they're still there when it wakes up they will become thoughts
  7. Thoughtful. Wants to talk about philosophy. Kidnaps people to talk about philosophy with. When the people get boring, eats them, finds new people
  8. Avaricious. Has collected all the gold in a mile's radius. Eager for more gold but paranoid that someone is going to try to steal its gold. Original owners want gold back, which will be an issue if the PCs steal it
  9. Terrified. Holed up in boobytrapped lair. Will trade servitude for protection. Not clear if subject of fear is giant-eating titan, famous giantslayer or tiny mouse
  10. Amorous. Wants husband or bride. Madly in love with local dignitary or most charismatic PC, seeks to woo them with outsize gifts like whole cherry trees and nice-smelling boulders
  11. Vengeful. Plotting against the society that cast it out and the gods that shaped it so monstrously. Friendly to fellow anarchists, cruel to representatives of the state. Keeps a priest in a pit and tortures them
  12. Inventive. Has long-term architectural project that involves moving bits of the landscape about. Not too concerned about what this will do to property values/people's livelihoods
  1. Keeps heart in an egg, egg in a bottle, bottle in a chest, chest buried under a tree
  2. Owes a single service to anyone who speaks its secret name
  3. Turned to stone by sunlight. Turns back to flesh at nightfall unless shattered beforehand
  4. Strengthened by flattering poetry, weakened by rhyming insults
  5. Has one white hair somewhere on its body. Dies if the hair is pulled out
  6. Will, if you jump on its belly, vomit everything it's ever eaten up intact
  7. Must consume a literal ton of food each day or begin to starve
  8. Invulnerable everywhere except a single patch of bruised flesh that moves around the body
  9. Constrained by honour to accept any challenge put to it so long as the challenger does the same
  10. Can't kill anyone whose name it doesn't know
  11. Destined to trip and die in the thorns of a blackberry bush. Must delay this by sacrificing to berry gods
  12. Terrified of own reflection
  1. Pair of talking, wisecracking vultures who hassle the giant from afar
  2. Enslaved twelve-year-old, child of a monarch who made a poor bargain
  3. Huge white bear that the giant rides like a horse. Has adorable cub
  4. Blind, elderly, forgetful warrior who thinks they serve a noble lord
  5. Loathsome burrowing wyrm that whispers horrible things to the giant at night
  6. Fairy trapped in bottle. Claims falsely to be the monarch of an ethereal realm
  7. Bard who is captivated by the giant's ponderous majesty and wants to write a saga on it
  8. Disembodied crawling hands. Kept about as spares in case the giant loses one
  9. Caged wizard w/ Stockholm syndrome. Will alert giant if anyone tries to rescue them
  10. Giant's mother, a little old lady of whom it lives in fear
  11. Ordinary cat
  12. Mostly imaginary friend
  1. Cloth cap that grants incredible swiftness so long as it's soaked in fresh human blood
  2. Belt that grants you the strength of the giant but also its weakness
  3. Cloak that makes you invisible so long as the wind blows west
  4. Goose that lays one golden egg per year, is a huge pain to take care of, keeps escaping
  5. Magic harp that plays itself, hypnotises people with music, has secret agenda
  6. Magic sword that can lop off any head at a stroke. Destined to slay anyone who wields it
  7. Horn that, when blown, magnifies fires and brings Ragnarok one day closer
  8. Severed, mummified head that whispers spells and secrets when fed blood and salt
  9. Human-sized gold coin. Actually chocolate in gold foil wrapper. Foil remains valuable
  10. Giant earwax. Can be distilled into lamp-oil that gives all the effects of sunlight when burnt
  11. Bell that makes elephants your friends
  12. Pig with map to lost city of giants tattooed across its belly
  1. Knows the eight forgotten phylums that were present in the blueprints of creation but never made it into the finished product. Hunted by angels who want to conceal evidence of their mistake
  2. Knows the origins of all dynasties, especially the embarrassing ones. Could map the genealogy of any monarch in the world
  3. Knows the name of every thief and the current location of everything ever stolen, including the first flame taken from the gods
  4. Knows every recipe. If given a suitable kitchen, could prepare any meal that has ever existed. In a proper distillery, could brew any perfume or liqueur
  5. Knows when anything within a hundred miles is lying and the exact reasons why. Hunted by members of the secret conspiracy who control the world
  6. Knows the hidden roads by which the damned escape from Hell and the saints sneak down from Heaven for a night on the town
  7. Knows how the world will end and the exact degree to which any specific action will delay or hasten it
  8. Knows the ruler of every species of animal and understands all of their politics. Wanted dead by the President of Cats
  9. Knows the secret methods of all craftsmen, including the star-dwarves who armour the Celestials
  10. Knows every song
  11. Knows the streetplan of every lost city
  12. Knows how anything it can see will die

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