Saturday, 22 August 2015

Sally Sells Sea Spells By The Seashore

Instead of going to bed like a normal person I'm going to write these until I pass out.

I love the sea

  1. Crabalanche
    Point at a crevice and crabs start pouring out of it. Like a thousand crabs. Maybe two thousand. They don't really do anything, just mill around for a while and then wander off. If you can't make this work you suck and I hate you.
  2. Be Foam
    Turn into sea foam. Only able to reconstitute self when immersed in sea water. Can be used as a reaction to being squashed/crushed to death.
  3. You Can't Drink Salt Water You Total Mong
    Make somebody start puking. Unless that person is a fish. Fish can probably drink salt water. The probably is there because, like, do fish drink at all? It feels like they don't need to but they probably do.
  4. Slick
    Cover an area in thin layer of water. Functions like whatever that spell is that already does this. Alternatively, use this spell to make all your flirtations super effective. Or do anything else that's a meaning of the word 'slick'.
  5. Eelpal
    Vomit out an electric eel. It is your friend and it loves you. Also it is one of your non-vital organs and you should probably swallow it again before the spell wears off.
  6. Bubblebutt
    Summon a giant soap-bubble, centered on yourself. The bubble will absorb a kind of stupid amount of force, but can be cut reasonably easily with a sword/dagger/arrow.
  7. Breathe Underwater
    Man that was a fucking obvious one.
  8. Inksquirt
    Exactly as erotic as it sounds. Would be way more effective underwater, but still works like the way colour spray sounds like it should. 
  9. Eight Arm Strike
    Use this to give yourself 8 actions in one turn. They're unarmed though, I guess, to stop this being disgustingly OP. It probably still is. Fuck you.
  10. Swallow
    Swallow a thing. Big, metal and pointy. Huge, semi-solid ooze. Doesn't fucking matter. There's some kinda fish somewhere that could do it and now you can too.
  11. Wave
    Wave comes outta somewhere. Rises up from ground, rushes out of cupboard, falls from chimney. Whatever makes least sense. Everyone falls over now.
  12. Cephaloghost
    Spooky cephalopod spectre attaches to somebody. They gotta win a grapple or whatever, and get fucked up by suckerspikes every round it takes them. Like 1d3 or something?
  13. Shellter
    Ha pun. Somebody's skin grows hard and thick and kinda gross. More armour less dex or whatever. Makes you really heavy, too.
  14. Tradewind
    A stiff, reliable breeze starts blowing wherever you want it to, for as long as you keep concentrating plus a couple rounds of lee-way.
  15. Stonefish Surprise
    Somebody gets stung in the foot by a stonefish. Save vs agony. Not even sure if this is a spell that stonefish mighta been there this whole time there is basically no way to be empirically certain.
  16. Planulae Release
    Everything that isn't vigourously moving starts to get covered in coral. Focused on a small area or in a corridor or whatever, this makes the region unpassable. Broader areas just develop a rock-hard crust.
  17. Luminesce
    Glow with the freaky light-show of a deep water beastie. Everyone watching has to save vs pretty colours or be entranced.
  18. Swim
    Like Fly but, you know, you have to swim.
  19. Drag to the Depths
    A big ol' tentacle pops out of the nearest man-sized hole and starts grabbing shit. Anything dragged in is in the nearest ocean now.
  20. Landshark
    A friendly tiger shark shows up, leaving a nausea-inducing wake in the earth and biting chunks out of your enemies.
Fish are so scary


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. These are brilliant. I especially like the stonefish one. Spells that might not even be spells are a rich vein of potential which could do with being explored further...