Thursday, 1 June 2017

Serial Killer Generator

click me! your god commands it!


Job
  1. Accountant
  2. Schoolteacher
  3. Nurse
  4. State trooper
  5. Investment banker
  6. Homeless guy
  7. Groundskeeper
  8. Security guard
  9. Factory worker
  10. Sysadmin
  11. Trust-fund kid
  12. Hotelier
Motive
  1. God told them to punish sinners
  2. Must kill everyone who looks like Mom
  3. Victims were alien doppelgangers
  4. Everyone else is just so fucking stupid
  5. Finds murder sexually gratifying
  6. Liberate victims from prison of flesh
  7. Torment one specific detective
  8. Ascend into terrifying new form
  9. Protect family from dangerous world
  10. Curious what makes people tick
  11. Inherits fortune from one murder, all others red herrings
  12. Radical nihilism
Appearance
  1. Facially mutilated
  2. Morbidly obese
  3. Pale and emaciated
  4. Lovable grandparent
  5. Ruggedly handsome
  6. Sallow and thinly moustached
  7. Grotesquely muscular
  8. Acne and greasy ponytail
  9. Middle-aged, balding
  10. Bearded and tattooed
  11. Wall-eyed, slack-jawed
  12. Utterly forgettable
Victims
  1. Teenage runaways
  2. Elderly retirees
  3. Petty criminals
  4. Migrant workers
  5. Happy families
  6. Regular churchgoers
  7. Drug addicts
  8. Abusive parents
  9. Mildly rude people
  10. Friendless shut-ins
  11. Aspiring actors
  12. Other serial killers
Weapon
  1. Hook hand
  2. Chainsaw
  3. Icepick
  4. Garrote
  5. Shotgun
  6. Garden shears
  7. Pitchfork
  8. Claw hammer
  9. Nailgun
  10. Tomahawk
  11. Straight razor
  12. Snake venom
Gimmick
  1. Sends coded letters to newspapers
  2. Murder locations make symbol on map
  3. Sequence of murders dictated by mythology
  4. Cooks and eats victims' flesh
  5. Preserves victims' eyes in glass jars
  6. Makes clothes out of human skin
  7. Keeps hostages alive for weeks
  8. Leaves deadly traps for pursuers
  9. Carves symbols into victims' flesh
  10. Releases abductees in woods, hunts them
  11. Leaves some victims alive but mutilated
  12. Makes victims choose between hideous fates
Weakness
  1. Has cancer, will eventually just die
  2. Haunted by ghosts of victims
  3. Alternate personality has no knowledge of crimes
  4. Terrified of cats, won't enter a house with a cat in it
  5. Strength waxes and wanes with moon
  6. Flagellates self in penance after each murder
  7. Believes self already dead
  8. Believes self literally unstoppable
  9. Can't stand being looked at
  10. Must befriend victims before killing them
  11. Addicted to opiates
  12. Blind
Assistant
  1. Story-hungry tabloid reporter
  2. Coterie of brainwashed cultists
  3. Doting mom who treats them as baby
  4. Nerd consumed with unrequited love
  5. Copycat killer who provides alibis
  6. Retired murderer turned mentor
  7. Psychiatrist convinced of their innocence
  8. Cop who thinks victims deserve it
  9. Teen who finds murder amazingly cool
  10. Bored millionaire who funds murder as hobby
  11. Invisible friend with strange knowledge
  12. Vicious hunting dog
Lair
  1. Backwoods cabin
  2. Slum apartment
  3. Suburban home
  4. Storm drain
  5. Fallout shelter
  6. Fishing boat
  7. Natural cavern
  8. Abandoned mansion
  9. Abandoned factory
  10. Abandoned carnival
  11. Abandoned warehouse
  12. Inside someone's walls

1 comment:

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