Wednesday, 22 May 2019

marcher lord pcs

making tables in blogger sucks. but. here is a table of generating pcs for my marcher lords setting. i am trying to turn it into a small book that you will be able to buy for a cute amount of money

YOU WERE...

FIGHTER
ROGUE
WIZARD
CLERIC
1
Raised by wolves. Speak their language, badly. Eat raw meat and bite your foes.
Raised by elves. Laugh at odd times.
Know a few faerie sleights-of-hand.
Raised by birds. Insecure. Certain you could fly if you weren’t lazy.
Raised by hermit. Thought you were the only two people in the world until you were ten.
2
Street urchin. Hoard food. Bully the weak. Don’t let the big kids intimidate you.
Child beggar. So pathetic they look away. Pick every pocket you see.
Half-elf. Mother seduced, abandoned, passed it off as virgin birth. Weird eyes.
Abandoned on monastery steps. Raised by silent monks who punished you for noise.
3
Raised by poor farmers. Good with herd animals. Scared of reading.
Raised by tinkers. Good with tools. Get in trouble, move on to next town.
Raised by gypsies. Told the future until they made you stop for being too accurate.
Raised by secret pagans. As a youth, inducted into their vile worship. Saved by Christ, grateful.
4
Raised by blacksmiths. Patient. Burnt. Good eye for weakness in metal.
Raised by sailors. Good with knots. Hate the sea that’s in your blood.
Raised by woodsmen. Clumsy. Missing a finger where an axe turned in your grip.
Raised by shepherds. Compassionate. Think people can be herded. Play the pipes.
5
Raised by butchers. Good with cleaver, anatomy. Smell of blood is home.
Raised by weavers. Bad eyes, fine hands.
Loathe detail and drudgery.
Raised by cobblers. Superstitious. Always set out milk for the elves.
Raised by millers. Hate corruption, more so when it robs people of food.
6
Raised in a pub. Alcoholic since childhood. Carry it well though.
Raised by tanners. Twitchy. No longer stink of piss but behave as if you do.
Raised by gong farmers. Fastidiously clean. Sure of noble destiny.
Raised by fishermen. Devise ways to trap converts with nets of argument.
7
Raised by soldiers. Scornful of feudal system but fanatically loyal to local lord.
Raised by castle servants. Sweet tooth, sticky fingers. Practice being friendly.
Raised by castle falconer. Sharp eyes. Look for omens in the clouds.
Raised by castle gardeners. Better with plants than people. Inconspicuous.
8
Raised by a knight. Never admit to the secret hatred of chivalry you nurture.
Heir to penniless baron. Jealous of other lords, disgusted by peasants.
Child of wealthy merchant. No interest in money. Greedy for knowledge.
Raised by a bard. Utterly humorless. Despise music. Think jokes are Satanic.
9
Lord’s youngest kid. Will inherit nothing. They tried to make you join the church.
Lord’s bastard. Defensive. Assumed to be evil by wife and true-born heirs.
Lord’s niece or nephew. Comfortably outside line of succession. Well liked.
Lord’s heir. Joined the church instead of inheriting, to your dad’s despair. Humble.
0
Taken by lord as ward to guarantee your family’s loyalty. Always homesick.
Prisoner’s child. Grew up in castle dungeons. Born in darkness, molded by it.
Kidnapped by witch as baby. Every night she said she’d eat you tomorrow.
Archbishop’s bastard. Bent on forcing the old prick to acknowledge you.

AND THEN...
1
Village watchman who slept through massacre. Insomniac. Hear clank of swords in every shadow.
Castle steward fired for embezzlement. Resentful. It was unfair of them to catch you.
Astrologer. See dreadful futures in the stars and feel obliged to prevent them, by destroying the sky.
Cheerful missionary. Everywhere you go you spread the love of Christ. Never let your optimism flag.
2
Former knight who broke a vow. Cynical by day, mourn lost life at night.
Romantic minstrel. Serenaded the wrong person, on the run from their spouse.
Pyromaniac. Set fires and leaves town. Only a matter of time before someone dies.
Kicked out of your monastery for doing weird sex stuff. Nobody can know.
3
Former squire who got their knight killed through ineptitude. Pretend to be upset.
Court jester who got sick of pies and dropping their pants. Can fart tunes. Won’t.
Fanatical atheist. Flatly refuse to acknowledge the reality of own magic.
Inquisitor. Empowered by the local lord to root out heretics. Sees elvish influence everywhere.
4
Sheriff who got chased out of town for finally catching populist bandit.
Populist bandit. Recruiting new men after the sheriff killed all the old ones.
Former apprentice. Mis-drew summoning circle, master eaten alive by demons.
Runaway novice. Believe in God but not the system. Die before going back.
5
Given a magic sword by a nymph who promised you’d be king one day.
Itinerant surgeon. Pull teeth, cut hair, set bones, apply leeches. Always in demand.
Hedge wizard. Just want to help. Hugely unlucky. Leaves in hair and beard.
Invented your own non-canonical saint. Other priests not happy about it.
6
Lord’s true-born heir, swapped at birth, gathering men to reclaim your title.
Itinerant torturer and executioner. No moral qualms at all - pain’s the essence of justice.
Owe a debt to an elf. Must do random tasks to pay them off. It’s probably harmless.
Former advisor to lord. Banished for telling them everything they didn’t want to hear.
7
Killed a dragon by accident, now feted as dragon-slayer everywhere. Expected to do it again.
Itinerant puppeteer. Can never resist the impulse to cruelly caricature local dignitaries.
Mind displaced in time. Refer to things that happen a hundred years ago or tomorrow.
Secretly worship the Devil. Sacrifice innocents at midnight black masses. Insist that it’s good, actually.
8
Bailiff. Tasked to hunt down debtors and bring them before the court, unless they pay you not to find them.
Happily married until elves stole your spouse. Take iron, find them. No-one believes they existed.
Fixate on the science of the nameless race. Dig in burial mounds, illegally uncovering their history.
Leper. Slowly rotting. Want to do one more good deed before you die. They don’t believe you’re not contagious.
9
Famous wrestler, much in demand at county fairs. Can’t turn down a dare or challenge.
Monk impersonator. Brown robe and smattering of Latin disguises you as a holy man, gets you alms.
Hunt your own reflection, animated by an evil mirror. It insists it’s real and you’re the fake.
Mendicant friar. Talk to animals. Give away money and property. Disliked by wealthy establishment.
0
Veteran of lord’s army. Brutally scarred. Got old, discharged without pension.
Elves drove you mad. Peasants assume your rantings are prophetic, feed and clothe you.
You’re a king of the goblins and they keep showing up in your life, asking for orders.
Hear God’s voice in your head. Try to ignore it. Fail. Fuck up your life by following his orders.


YOU HAVE..
1
Very stupid horse.
Very smart mule.
Talking pig.
Well-trained raven.
2
Very good dog.
Very evil cat.
Wise pet snail.
Caged, angry imp.
3
Implausibly heavy claymore of historical significance.
Needle-like misericorde, easily concealed.
Lightning wand with a 50% chance to explode in your hand.
Steel aspergillum, used to sprinkle holy water and crack heads.
4
Full suit of plate armour, rusted to shit, unwearable.
Chainmail shirt hidden beneath your normal clothes.
Book of ancient riddles and fables, suitable for children.
Statue of the Madonna that weeps milk in the presence of children.
5
Shield bearing a long-lost knight’s heraldic device.
Vial of clear, deadly, distinctive-smelling poison.
Lump of clay that moves and talks if shaped into a face.
Collection of dried and pressed herbs, suitable for cooking and medicine.
6
Enormous wheel of cheese, no more than a single bite out of it.
Forged deeds to a tavern in a town you’ve never visited.
Acorn that grows into an oak tree overnight if planted in holy soil.
Leatherbound Bible heavy enough to bludgeon a man to death.
7
Wide weatherproof cloak that doubles as a warm blanket.
Enchanted penny that always returns to you at daybreak.
Bottled cloud that anticipates the weather. Friendly.
Reliquary containing fragments of a saint’s skull. Deters plague.
8
Black oak walking stick, iron-banded, carved with spirals.
Dice made from ogre’s teeth. Always unlucky for the thrower.
Sheepskin belt. Turns you into a sheep. Only removed by shearing.
Long-lasting bannock bread and delicious sacramental wine.
9
Utterly comfortable elf-made boots that never wear out.
Grappling hook and 50’ of compressible spidersilk rope.
Dragonbone pipe carved into the shape of a goblin’s head.
Book of cryptic prophecies that only make sense in hindsight.
0
Hefty hand-cranked arbalest that takes thirty seconds to wind.
Map to the treasure hoard of a famous bandit, currently endungeoned.
Very tall floppy hat that other wizards envy. Embroidered with stars.
Golden, jewel-studded crucifix that no-one, surely, would dare to steal or sell.

7 comments:

  1. Excellent stuff. Really looking forward to that booklet!

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