Sunday, 29 May 2016

Goblin Knights

Sir

The
Steed
Weapon
  1. Jab
  2. Rib
  3. Hop
  4. Lump
  5. Grab
  6. Heap
  7. Shab
  8. Toad
  9. Crab
  10. Gut
  11. Trot
  12. Spit
  13. Squid
  14. Turd
  15. Mud
  16. Grit
  17. Pop
  18. Cob
  19. Sad
  20. Cold
  1. shank
  2. snatch
  3. catch
  4. grind
  5. grope
  6. creep
  7. spine
  8. snarl
  9. rank
  10. stench
  11. reek
  12. moil
  13. nard
  14. nork
  15. muddle
  16. scare
  17. leech
  18. clench
  19. kin
  20. sy
  1. Mutinous
  2. Cankerous
  3. Squinty
  4. Sly
  5. Purple
  6. Morbid
  7. Sensible
  8. Glutinous
  9. Hungry
  10. Putrid
  11. Terrible
  12. Cunning
  13. Bold
  14. Lucky
  15. Magnificent
  16. Foul
  17. Drab
  18. Backwards
  19. Pigfucker
  20. Sour
  1. Frog
  2. Hog
  3. Dog
  4. Centipede
  5. Rat
  6. Cat
  7. Human
  8. Spider
  9. Goat
  10. Snail
  11. Roach
  12. Gorilla
  13. Rabbit
  14. Ibis
  15. Bat
  16. Tick
  17. Chicken
  18. Worm
  19. Camel
  20. Broomstick
  1. Snailflail
  2. Biting axe
  3. Clawhammer
  4. Rusty hooks
  5. Huge fish
  6. Rotten lance
  7. Snake bunch
  8. Magic sword
  9. Shit musket
  10. Toothed mace
  11. Mancatcher
  12. Epic katana
  13. Umbrella
  14. Pumpkin bombs
  15. Giant’s penis
  16. Claymore
  17. Broken halberd
  18. Book on chain
  19. Shillelagh
  20. Macuahuitl

The role of goblin knights is to defend the innocent from the tyranny of adventurers, desecrate all things humans consider sacred and uphold the laws of goblin chivalry, which is basically the same as human chivalry. Goblin knights are brave, honest, generous and unstinting in their pursuit of goblin justice. They keep oaths and will always insist on a fair fight. Otherwise they have the same value system as normal goblins. The ultimate ambition of every goblin knight is to find the Holy Grail and take a shit in it.

Goblin knight encounters:
  1. A goblin knight has sworn not to let anyone cross a particular bridge. The townsfolk built a second bridge next to them and use it all the time.
  2. A goblin knight has fallen in love with you and now follows you around wooing you with songs from its awful guitar.
  3. A goblin knight seeks your aid to slay a terrible giant with club of wood and hat of white. He leads you to a bakery. The baker has been eaten by a terrible giant.
  4. A goblin knight seeks to avenge the death of a bunch of normal goblins you killed at some point without really thinking about it.
  5. A goblin knight has saved your life and now it believes you owe it a debt of service.
  6. A goblin knight, its heart broken by a perfidious lover, aims to die in glorious combat by picking a fight it knows it cannot win.

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