Sunday, 13 November 2016

Hedgehags

Hedgehag Spells

Those in the hedgehog community that can use magic are referred to, rather self-awarely, as hedgehags. A hedgehag is likely to know some of the below spells, in addition to minor charms for encouraging the growth of moss/fungus/roots, attracting delicious bugs, keeping water sources clean.
  1. Curl
    A space of up to X by X feet folds into itself, unfolded at will, with no damage to enclosed objects/people. Light and air enter the space via a one dimensional slit, but it is otherwise intangible. Perception check to notice the slit, a thin shaft of sun/moon/torchlight
  2. Bristle
    Causes spines to grow from the target object or surface. Metal or stone spines deal 1d6 damage on contact, all other spines deal 1d4 damage. Pattern, size of spines can be controlled to, e.g, form a ladder, spell out a message
  3. Mulch
    Forepaws and teeth emanate an aura that decomposes dead organic matter, rots wood, erodes stone. This spell can also be used to burrow at half movement speed
  4. Sniff
    Grants caster ability to follow a scent, given a sample of the smell. Allows for tracking people/animals, finding water/food, locating gold/good fortune. Can also be used to anoint with a scent, forming a froth that can pass on the target scent to anything that's rubbed with it
  5. Dream
    Draws the caster partway into the spirit realm. Allows for vision quests, astral projection and communion with both ghosts and nature spirits
  6. Shuck
    Pulls snails from shells, ants from nests, water from wells, gold from chests. Will pull pretty much anything from anything, with strength X.
  7. Shed
    Causes X hundred pounds of autumn leaves to blow through the space between caster's fingers/claws. Can be used to obscure vision, smother flames, hide treacherous ground, celebrate birthdays, or just produce a delicious snack for worms
  8. Worms
    Draws forth X pounds of worms from the earth or, in dire straits, from the stomach. Worms can be of any size, even just one really big one. Simple worm brains can be controlled explicitly by caster while within X feet but can only remember one syllable commands when out of range. Everything felt by the worms can be felt by the caster, albeit hazily
    Any spell cast can be conducted through summoned worms, with some alterations:
    1. Curl allows objects swallowed by one worm to be regurgitated by any other
    2. Bristle grants worms an actual attack, dealing damage based on their size
    3. Mulch works much the same, but worms burrow at twice movespeed
    4. Sniff causes them to smell and taste like the target of the spell
    5. Dream turns them into an effective peyote substitute
    6. Shuck knots worms up, gathering tension to fire through their own coils like meaty darts
    7. Shed makes worms peel apart into a burst of leaves. Please don't do this

I mean this wasn't quite the tone I was going for but fuck me Ryuutama here I come

Hedghags in a World that isn't Redwall

If you think the spell list is cute but for some reason everyone you know isn't running games in which it's valid to be a tiny hedgehog, I'd suggest you stat up a druid that has accidentally swapped bodies with one such mammal during a vision quest. This also gives you the opportunity to RP as a hedgehog coming to grips with a taste for meat, year-round sexual drive, and the fact that curling into a ball solves very few of its problems.

Other Hedgehog Facts from Wikipedia

Hedgehogs:
  • can hibernate, maintaining a body temp of ~2°C. Dope synergy with Curl
  • have some immunity to snake venom. Fuck wait really? Holy shit
  • are prone to cancer. Hedgehag turned evil by brain cancer sounds like a viable villain to me
  • deliberately trap their heads in cardboard tubes for fun. This should not be in your game probably
  • are collectively referred to as an array. Other names for hedgehogs include heyghoge, urchin, furze-pig
I AM A VERY SERIOUS AUTHOR RUNNING A VERY SERIOUS BLOG

1 comment:

  1. man are you serious? My game is 100% cardboard tubes

    ReplyDelete