Sunday, 26 April 2015

d12 Backpacks, d6 Dooms

Things the Adventurer is Carrying on Their Back
  1. A big earthen pot, full of dirt, being used to grow carrots, potatoes and other root vegetables. Nothing magical, but a near-never-ending supply of basic rations for 5. Some of the vegetables are really good for you, and you should never underestimate a balanced diet.
  2. Their own long-term memory in a plate-glass fish tank. Drink a cupful to remember anything that happened more than a week ago with perfect clarity. Top up the tank by pissing in it. Old thoughts are washed out to white, newer ones are murky yellow. There is no filing system.
  3. The hand of a dead god. Very offensive to people that know sign language. Has a chance to disarm anyone attacking their back. Very good at grabbing ledges when falling past them. Has secret machinations and no way to enact them.
  4. Bird cages. So many. Messenger pigeons, alarm owls, attack ravens. Whole flock can be released to cause an extremely effective distraction, but some of the birds will not return. Oddly, not a great source of eggs.
  5. Their enormous, hideous growth, disguised as a large bundle of hay. Consists entirely of legs, most of which have feet. Can be used to run as fast as a horse, but it's hard to tell where you're going when you're on your back. Can be cut off and stuck on someone else with only cursory knowledge of anatomy.
  6. An extremely comprehensive dictionary. Includes words that don't exist but would be really useful. Words for types of sadness you'll start having once you know what they are. Contains many, many spells, but is reluctant to let you find them.
  7. Bronze Gong of Tiamat's Nephew. Totally indestructible. Inlaid with a serpentine motif, writhing at pace with the continents. When rung, roll 2d100. Snake-eyes means an elder dragon crawls out of the negative space of the motif and starts eating nearby mountains. Please don't ring the gong.
  8. Their whole family. An ancient curse decrees that the adventurer's closest kin will be slain as soon as they leave the village. Carrying the village with them ensures that their kin can never die. Grandma is getting very old.
  9. A cowardly angel, manifested as four thick-feathered wings. Grants the power of flight, until it decides it's tired. Always fails saves vs fear, and will try to fly its host away whenever anything scary happens.
  10. Apocalypse engine. Their trying to find somewhere safe to let it go off. Let's of steam once a month, causing a random calamity from the table below. A random disaster can also be set off manually, with a few minutes preparation, though this can only be done once a month.
  11. Golemic musician. Plays a band's worth of instruments at the same time. Cannot be convinced to shut up, but has a good enough sense of atmosphere that the goblin won't hear you sneaking up behind it because it's too busy tapping along to the baseline. Change of song effected by complimenting the arpeggios then asking politely.
  12. Everything of a particular colour. Like, literally all things that are this colour. You have never seen the colour before now. It is utterly mesmerising. The bundle contains well over 100 weird objects, mostly misfired pieces clay and moldy peaches held in careful stasis. Owner guards the collection zealously.

Random Doomsdays
Manual release will affect about a square mile. Automatic pressure release affects about 100. Total release will unleash three doomsdays over 100 000 square miles. This is about a Poland's worth of apocalypse.
  1. Earthquake. The earth splits in precise concentric circles. Salamanders crawl from the cracks just to set fire to trees.
  2. Almost Meteor. The earth is lifted twenty meters into the air and dropped again. Everybody takes falling damage, buildings topple, everything that lived underground comes out to see what the fuss was about.
  3. Flood. The earth starts to bleed in places it shouldn't. Waves roll off the sides of mountains while valleys drown.
  4. Darkness. Great black clouds form high above, and slowly drop until they consume the land. The cloud drinks the internal fluids of everything in it.
  5. Volcanoes. The area's most common stone starts turning into lava. People will have time to get out of the smaller buildings. Try not to evacuate downhill.
  6. Hurricane. The wind passes around people without stirring a hair. It is, after all, a lot more fun throwing horses, trees, buildings at people.

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