Sunday 19 February 2017

Lizardmen


  • Geckomen
Can't blink. Must constantly lick their own eyes. Small but surprisingly loud. Live in arboreal puzzle villages where the walls are floors and the floors are traps. If you attack one the jungle will ring with war-chirps as every geckoman in twenty miles is alerted to the threat you pose. Attack from the trees with small, powerful bows and poison-tipped arrows. Steal children and try to raise them as their own, but this never works because they can't figure out how to teach the children to walk on walls. Love pineapple and will gather around to lick at it with their little tongues.

Some of them can glide on skinflap wings. These are called "ptchyozoons" and held in high regard by the others. Others look exactly like leaves and attack from ambush.


  • Frillmen
Live lonely lives in deserts. Only want to scare people and cannot figure out why no-one is scared of them. Run up to travelers and bare their frills and go "naaaaaaarrrrrrrr". Get really annoyed when, instead of running in fear, people think they're hilarious and adorable. Then go home and write sad poetry about it. Actually quite talented poets. Much in demand as exotic pets. Aristocratic owners like to pierce the frills and put gold rings through them.


  • Molochmen
Sit alone in barren places feeding off the dew that condenses on their skin at dawn and dusk. Rarely move. Considered by some to be wise ascetics and sought out for the sagacity of their judgments, which must be paid for with a sacrifice of at least one hundred pounds of ants. Thought by others to be devils in ascetic guise whose alleged words of wisdom are in fact designed to insidiously corrupt the moral fibre of their disciples. Monarchs have been known to consult them - always in secret, to avoid being accused of blasphemy by those whom their decisions disadvantage.

Can shoot blood from their eyes. Anyone who sees someone covered in molochman blood will immediately know that person is guilty of some monstrous, though unspecified, sin, and must be punished in an appropriately brutal fashion.


  • Monitormen
Eat mostly carrion. Always have bits of rotting flesh caught between their teeth. Red saliva swarms with septic bacteria. Bite people, or stab them with saliva-dipped spears, then scuttle away and follow them around for several days waiting for them to die of infection. Hate doctors and have been known to perform daring raids into urban areas just to kill them. Love to raid graveyards, dig up fresh-buried corpses, bite them into swallowable chunks and leave the remains scattered untidily around the church steps. Only need to eat once a month and spend a lot of time lying on warm rocks, basking and digesting. Have a strict hierarchy based on size. The young live in trees and roll in shit to dissuade the old from eating them.


  • Iguanamen
Amphibious. A dull, sooty black, the same colour as the volcanic beach boulders they live on. Stubby faces are always encrusted with salt, which they blow from their nostrils like whales. Eat algae. Live on isolated islands and are desperately curious about the outside world, but are thought by sailors to bring bad luck to any ship that allows one on board. Will try to stow away in holds, though they're thrown overboard if caught. Proverbially ugly. Love games - have a deceptively simple-seeming form of checkers that they play with pebbles on boards drawn in the sand. Also love really bad jokes/ Worship the Volcano Woman, who they believe cursed them into their current hideous forms and will, if they are sufficiently good, one day make them beautiful again. Sacrifice beautiful things to the Volcano Woman when they think nobody's watching.


  • Tuataramen
Third eye on top of the head can see the future. Deep time agents from a long-forgotten age of reptiles, Take jobs as henchmen for low-tier warlocks and secretly manipulate their actions as part of an impossibly complex, millennia-long plan to resurrect the Lizard Queen and bring about the dawn of a new Scaled Epoch in which humans will once more flee and cower before their cold-blooded masters. The only ones who know about this are the rats, and the Rat King works in opposition to them wherever possible. They kill rodents on sight.

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