no, mr bond, i expect you to click me |
1. Deformity
- Metal hands
- Metal teeth
- Duelling scar
- Eyepatch
- Albinism
- Foul personal odour
- Superfluous third nipple
- Sunlight allergy
- Haemophiliac
- Can't feel pain
- Can't speak above a whisper
- Six fingers on left hand
2. Eccentricity
- Compulsively pursues a rare fish
- Believes self to be a deity
- Sexually obsessed with money
- Talks to pet and takes its advice
- Scared of ghosts, has to appease them
- Collects and destroys antiquities
- Claims to remember their past lives
- Addicted to gambling
- Dresses their troops in historical costume
- Will only eat raw meat
- Flagellates self as punishment for sins
- Passionately in love with at least one henchman
3. Day Job
- Assassin
- Dictator
- Cult leader
- Media mogul
- Financier
- Crime lord
- General
- Scientist
- Terrorist
- Aristocrat
- Philanthropist
- Intelligence agent
4. Lair
- Private Caribbean atoll
- Chateau in Swiss alps
- Abandoned Greek monastery
- Nuclear bunker in Siberia
- Circus-themed Vegas casino
- South African game reserve
- Japanese castle on volcanic island
- Pleasure palace of Indian royalty
- Luxury houseboat on the Nile
- Industrial complex in Amazon jungle
- Research station on Antarctic ice shelf
- Underwater habitat in Great Barrier Reef
5. Motive
- Personal - wants to see Bond suffer and die
- Political - wants to undermine England on behalf of foreign power
- Financial - wants to acquire cold hard cash
- Environmental - wants to cure Mother Earth of humanity's plague
- Racial - wants to defend their people from inferior ethnicities
- Religious - thinks God wants them to do it
- Reactionary - wants to restore a bygone age of politics and culture
- Revolutionary - wants to institute a radically new political system
- Ennui - got too rich, has nothing better to do
- Paranoia - thinks it's the only way to keep themself safe
- Melancholia - wants to commit suicide and take everyone with them
- Naivety - just a patsy, henchman is secret real villain
6. Plan
- Detonate an atomic bomb in a major city
- Steal formula for devastating virus from clandestine laboratory
- Steal famous gemstone and use it to power superweapon
- Undermine fabric of society by flooding streets with cheap drugs
- Simultaneously assassinate every world leader
- Destroy the stock market somehow, possibly with computers
- Eliminate sources of a vital commodity to monopolise the world's supply
- Replace kidnapped politicians with surgically-modified duplicates
- Spark mass chaos by falsifying news of the apocalypse
- Infiltrate MI6's database and gain access to all their secrets
- Disgrace MI6 with a fake scandal and force the government to dismantle it
- Brainwash kidnapped MI6 agents with advanced mind control techniques
7. Henchman
- Indestructible giant, secretly sympathetic
- Dwarf with adorable tiny gun and boundless evil in heart
- Pun-loving, ambiguously queer duo of legbreakers
- Trio of blind jazz musicians with weapons hid in instruments
- Oriental wrestler with dozens of razors concealed in suit
- Fortune teller with pet snake and power of seduction
- Tattooed harpoonist who speaks an impenetrable dialect
- Knifethrower twins, born and raised in a travelling carnival
- Hospital matron with an affection for electroconvulsive therapy
- Master of disguise, given away by unnaturally sharp canines
- Authentic Japanese samurai
- Grace Jones
8. Pet
- White Persian cat
- Burmese python
- Pair of spotted hyaenas
- Komodo dragon
- School of piranhas
- Bearded vulture
- Colony of army ants
- Moray eel
- Giant octopus
- Pug
- Jaguar
- Carnivorous plant
9. Demise
- Devoured by own pet while screaming for mercy
- Thrown into ravine following cliff-edge struggle
- Shot through heart following pistol duel in labyrinth
- Crashes expensive car following high-octane chase scene
- Impaled on eighteenth-century dueling sword
- Sucked out window of depressurized airplane
- Abandoned in inhospitable environment, dies of exposure
- Tries to escape in helicopter, is blown out of sky
- Attatched to heavy object and cast into body of water
- Doused in fuel and set aflame by flicked cigarette
- Can't escape lair before climax of self-destruct sequence
- Fakes own death, returns in next film
Like this for different reasons. Had to roll a few just for laughs too.
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